Sondra Pransky: [to Sidney] If you put our heads together, you'll hear a hollow noise.
Sid Waterman: I love you, really. With all due respect, you're a beautiful person. You're a credit to your race.
*
Sid Waterman: I was born into the Hebrew persuasion, but when I got older I converted to narcissism
*
Sid Waterman: I don't need to work out. My anxiety acts as aerobics.
*
Joe Strombel: This'll be the biggest story to hit London since Jack the Ripper.
Sondra Pransky: Jack the Ripper. Is that capitalized?
*
Sid Waterman: You're a pretty girl. You know, I think you could probably get this guy to get interested in you.
Sondra Pransky: Oh, you're silly...
Sid Waterman: Yeah, particularly if he's got a twisted mind.
*
Sondra Pransky: Ugh... the Indian food made me sick.
Sid Waterman: What? You barely touched your cobra salad, how can you be sick?
*
Sid Waterman: You're the daughter I never had.
Sondra Pransky: [touched] Oh, Sidney...
Sid Waterman: No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I never wanted kids.
*
Man: So what do you do, Mr. Spence?
Sid Waterman: Real estate.
[stutters, double take]
Sid Waterman: Uh, I mean, oil. I WAS in real estate, but now I'm in oil. I mean, now land is getting hard to come by... especially... outdoors.
*
Sondra Pransky: How can we meet him?
Sid Waterman: You know, I don't know... They have a class system. He's an aristocrat and, you know, we're... we're commoners. In fact according to his system, we're... I think we're probably classified as scum.
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